When friends plunge into the wedding scene

I was dreaming a dream, a dream which seemed so real, when the phone rang. I came back to reality and received the call, it was my friend. We were friends since kindergarden and amidst all the problems, troubles, guy dramas and college, we still managed to keep in touch and remained really good friends. She seemed tensed, she seemed nervous. When I finally managed to come out of my sleepy mood and the wonderful dream, i asked her what happen and by the time she finished saying the three words, “I’m getting married”, all my sleep was gone and all my dreams were lost. No judgements but we were just 21!! We were still in our final years of graduation and had so much to see, so much to explore, learn and experience. I never knew she had a boyfriend so when I asked whom? The next bombshell dropped, “Arrange Marriage.”

I've always had this fantasy of wearing a vera wang white gown, having a wedding by the beach with 10 bridesmaid and a bridal shower abroad. It was all too a fantasy. We would all laugh out loud, talk bout our dreams, our wedding plans, our careers, the dream man, the dream house and none of it involved getting married at 21. I was of course happy for her and excited over getting wedding cards addressed to me, being a real part of the whole wedding ceremony, organizing bridal showers, hunting for the perfect wedding dress for her and helping her for her BIG day.  But i couldn't help asking "“Are you fine with it?” I knew some of my ex classmates were married and had children too but it was her, my close friend and I knew her well, she was just like me, career minded, independent and adamant about things that she wanted. 

And in all those excitement and rush, it struck me. The first question that I asked myself was “am i getting old or is she going fast?”, “am i in denial or is it because it’s her?", “am i jealous or am i scared of being the next one?”. Because just yesterday we were talking bout boyfriends and now it would be husband from her end, suddenly i felt so grown up and i didn't want to be that yet. Don’t get me wrong, I love weddings, I really do, I’ve always loved tagging along with my parents to weddings. Apart from the wedding dress and the wonderful decorations, the bride would always looks like the most beautiful girl of the world and i guess everyone of us has had that fantasy of walking down the aisle and looking really pretty. I had already imagined how my wedding would be, but it was just of that day, not after how things would be after the wedding.

Deep down, apart from wearing gorgeous gown and having a wonderful wedding ceremony, I’ve always been scared of wedding. What scares me is what happens once the fantasy, the dream is broken? Do we still love each other unconditionally? Do we actually follow “till death do us apart”? What if he doesn’t turn out to be my perfect man? What if I fall out of love? It’s all too silly but all this questions did come across my mind and suddenly I felt like the girl from 27 dresses, the one who helped organised many weddings but could never get married herself and boom, this made me feel worse. 


I know I’m not left out but I seriously begin to get those goose bumps when I hear that my friends are getting married or they have kids now, at this rate, i would be left with no one to whine about.

But then I realised, I am still 21, the world had lot to offer, I have a lot of things to learn and everyone has their own choices. Married or not, the bonds we shared would always remain and its upon us, to maintain that bond. With time, everything would fall into place and so instead of worrying bout the future, I should concentrate on my present and do things which I wouldn’t be able to do later. Of course, I would have my wedding some day too <once I get over my fear> but just not so soon. And when I do that, even after years later, I would have my loved one sitting next to me, sipping coffee and basking in the sunlight on a cold winter day. But until then, I will just be happy wearing the bridesmaid dress and giving the speeches and nah! I’m not next, there will be many more before me and frankly, I don’t mind waiting and maybe, just maybe its not so scary marrying someone, when we think bout the good things and the good moments and forget bout the “what ifs” and “what not's”.

Oh and in case your wondering about my friend, she had a wonderful wedding ceremony, she looked really pretty, she is very happy and the guys a gem! He keeps her really happy and well, what more does a girl want… of course besides, Prada, Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Harry Winston and on and on...